coyoterun

Sometimes I wonder why I try to blog–my life is anything but eventful or exciting, certainly NOT glamorous–the most exciting thing I do in a day is go to the barn and feed!  Every once in a while I get the urge to share my thoughts, don’t know why, or who I think would be interested (: Maybe I’m a frustrated writer??? I don’t have the personal discipline to sit down every day and write–HELL I struggle to get logged the calories and exercise on my diet tracker program!  I wonder why it’s so difficult for me?? I have the time most days, I want to do it, so WHY do I find every excuse known to woman and a few I make up to avoid it–If I find the answer to that I’ll certainly be a rich woman.  At any rate, I kicked myself in the butt, went for a walk yesterday with my dogs, and today I groomed and rode my horse–I sat down and logged in the meals I ate and updated the exercise–that made me feel better.  I’m still a long way from where I want to be, but at least I’m working on it.  I wish I could see results faster, but I know, in my head anyway–that losing slowly will be best and help me keep if off, once I reach my goal… I’m setting small goals, almost daily ones, so as not to get to bogged down, if I miss a day or go over my calorie goal for a day, I’m not throwing up my hands and quitting. I got out my WII fit program-stepped on and the nasty little character on there told me I had gained 12 lb since I “last visited” YUCK!!!!   Well at least I’m down 6 according to my new scale—I wish it had bigger numbers, I have to look very closely to see those little marks between the 10’s and 5’s! I’m tempted to just ignore them, they are so very small, but I know if I don’t mark them and I wait until I lose a whole 5 lb, I’ll get discouraged and keep on will be harder.   What a ramble on here! Good thing I DON’T have to make a living writing! The upshot is although I screwed up and let all my progress go out the window, I am trying to get back on track and I think I’m headed in the right direction—–down~~~(:

 Thankfully for  now, everything is running smooth and I’m on a good plan and having success.  The new forum I joined has been most helpful, I have discovered that I really need other people to be accountable to when it comes to sticking with my exercise/weight loss plans.  I tend to set goals, then find reasons why I can’t do what needs to be done to reach them.  But with the new forum-we hold each other accountable for our DAILY goals and it’s working for me.  I guess a big part of my personality is not wanting to disappoint or have to go on and tell the others–”oh I was just not in the mood to exercise today”.  Of course having Debra,MJ,  and the others to  “yell” at me is a great motivator!  Not really, they are sweet,but knowing they are there doing their stuff, it just makes me want to get up and get mine done too.  I’m at the point of whatever it takes–I’ve got to be successful this time and get the weight off, before it messes me up so bad, I’ll never be able to keep doing the things I love.   Riding is getting harder and harder, walking is hard, carrying around too much weight for my bones is taking a toll and even though my Doc says my heart is good, having heart problems/stroke on both sides of the family makes me worry.   My husband, who is very active, and only a few pounds OW, has recently been diagnosed with type 2 diabetes, and that worries me too.  I mean if he has this crop up, and he has always been more active than me, it could happen to me too.  So this time around, I am sticking to my guns and making this work.  I HAVE to, my life depends on it!

Exercise Log

Weekends are always hard for me, we are either busy or have company-both which make fitting in exercise time hard.  I’m hoping that joining the new forum, having friends that are expecting me to check in and make a progress report is going to make a difference for me.  So here I go, my first weekend with accountability waiting for me!

Exercise Log

Ok, here I go again, more weight to lose, and I hope I have found a forum where a few friends will hold me accountable for the promises I make to myself.  After the hottest summer I can remember-with me sitting in the AC on my butt, doing nothing, I have been rewarded with nearly 10 more pounds to lose in addition the the 40 I was working on.  So now, thanks to me, I have to work harder and longer to get to where I need to be.  I write all the “good” stuff down, I know what I have to do to get there, but now is the time where I have to step up and do the hard work–I MUST stop making excuses, or just ignoring the fact that I am slowly ruining my health and am headed for some serious surgery if I don’t make changes NOW.

I’m put in writing what I think I need to do on the forum I have joined, I’m counting on you all that join with me to give me hell if I make excuses for why I didn’t get it done.  Sort of like our very own “boot camp” for weight loss.  Wish me strength and determination.

Exercise Log

motivation and caring,these are the things that I lack in my efforts to lose weight.  I talk a good story, I get on the train, but I just don’t carry through with all my plans.  I just got through reading some really great blogs about getting fired up, working hard and I thought yes!that is what I need to do.  Then I walked through my kitchen and mindlessly grabbed a cookie and started munching as I walked into the computer room to sit down and read more.  I didn’t even think about what I was doing, what I was putting in my mouth, I wasn’t hungry—I was just chewing!  So I got up threw what was left in the trash and here I am.  Now I just don’t understand, I don’t want to be this heavy, I know that with my family history is in not good for me to carry all this extra weight, it’s hard on my knees, I can’t do the things I want to do, (shortness of breath, no stamina)  and I hate the way I look.  I don’t even enjoy shopping for clothes, because I know I look like a sack of potatoes.  Ok I know all this, so why aren’t I willing to get up and do something about it?  Why do I use the things that are happening that are stressful in  my life, as an excuse?  I was doing pretty well, lost 10  pounds, then the wheels fell off and I just can’t seem to get back on track.  I’m back up to 192 and mad as hell about that, but I’m still grabbing cookies with out even thinking about what I’m stuffing in my mouth!  I have a treadmill (that I hate), tapes, weights, and a really good place to walk outside, all the things I need to get all the exercise I need plus a horse that needs to be ridden in the worst way.   I need to get back on track and start doing the things I need to do, so I’m fessing up and maybe I’ll come back here and read this every morning and tell myself, pay attention, do your part, the skinny fairies are not going to sprinkle you with magic dust so you can wake up thin!  I am so mad at myself for letting this slide, I have to kick myself off dead center and realize that just NOT gaining more is NOT what needs to happen,  I need to get up and start working and get back to LOSING and that is going to require that I do some WORK. 

Hopefully next time I get on here and write I’ll have better things to tell you all.    Starting over once again, I will do better.