Home again,

FINALLY.  Seems like all I have done for the last two weeks is run in my SUVY back and forth to town, East Texas, and over Southern Oklahoma.  All right I’m stretching a bit, but that’s what it seems like.  You understand where I live, it’s 20 minutes to town just to get to a grocery store—more like 35 for a Wal Mart or somewhere that really has shops.  First to grocery store and pick up food for Tony, so he won’t starve while I’m gone to Tyler, TX.  Then down to East TX.  I had a really nice visit with my sister and my aunt and  her kids, saw my Mom, got her to the doctor and squeezed in a visit with my Mother-in-law (whom I adore).  After a two hours doctor visit on Monday, I started home, made it with no problems.  Tony and the dogs were glad to have me home after 4 days.  I had planned on spending Tuesday cleaning up (those of you that are married know how important this is after being gone for 4 whole days).  First thing that morning the phone rings and it’s my daughter, car trouble on the way to work—so we figure out what to do about that, in entailed a trip to Ardmore (1hour one way) to drop off the car so it could be fixed.   Then on Wednesday something else came up (a trip to town, for Tony) and  going down to Durant for a 4H thing I’m committed to.  Thursday I actually was home all day!!!  Got some stuff done and caught up on what’s been happening here.  Friday I had to get a friend and go back to Ardmore to get my daughters car, and blew the whole day on that going to WalMart for a few items.  I know not to go on Fridays, but I was out of stuff I needed.  This is a long way around to say, I missed you all and I hope you have been doing ok.             I guess all the running around was good for me I weighed in last night and I’m at 188.  That  scale finally moved in the right direction.                                                                                                                                      Tony’s family is coming up for Thanksgiving and I’m trying to gear myself up  TO NOT OVER INDULGE–I love all the foods that come with Thanksgiving and Christmas.  Hopefully we will have nice weather, all the girls like to walk in the afternoon after we eat, so that will help 

Anyway, you all, I didn’t have anything great to say, just wanted to catch up and say hello and I hope you all have a wonderful and safe thanksgiving.  This has been such a rough year for so many of us, but I know we all have blessings that we should be thankful for, we just have to remember them.   

A really BAD AWFUL two days!!!

Hey guys, as you can see it’s been a rough two days, one of my daughters horses, got sick(colic) and I’ve been with her and the horse for the last two days.  I’m tired worn down and depresses.  After all the vet tried he couldn’t save her and we had to put her down today.  The little bay mare was named Dixie and she was a pretty, sweet little southern belle, just a little bit of an attitude, but no meanness at all.  She was a great trail horse and so gentle anyone could ride her.  She was my daughter’s boyfriend’s first horse and although he wasn’t riding her any longer, in fact she was staying at my barn, he was crushed.  It is always hard to lose one, but your first horse, no matter how old you are when you get it, is always very special.  We will all miss her a lot.  My husband took his backhoe to Rachel’s place and we buried Dixie there on the place along side Josh’s pony Holly.  Afterwards Rachel and I were talking and she said to me ” God is really calling a fine string of horses to heaven this year.”  This year we have lost Ace and Dixie, and three  of our very close friends have lost their horses as well.  Just another reason I’ll be glad to see 09 check out.  Hopefully for us, 2010 will be much better.   Sorry I haven’t been around, let’s hope that the weekend is better.   

Something that touched me and made me think.

I wanted to share this story with you all…it made me think about the little things we do that touch other people in ways that maybe we don’t even realize.  For good or bad.  This story–the idea behind it made me think about my buddies here–people I have never met, that are willing to take the time to support me and be a listening post when I need it most.  So thank you  and I hope you enjoy the little story like I did.

When I was a young boy, my father had one of the first telephones in our neighborhood.. I remember the polished, old case fastened to the wall. The shiny receiver hung on the side of the box. I was too little to reach the telephone, but used to listen with fascination when my mother talked to it. Then I discovered that somewhere inside the wonderful device lived an amazing person. Her name was “Information Please” and there was nothing she did not know. Information Please could supply any one’s number and the correct time.  My personal experience with the genie-in-a-bottle came one day while my mother was visiting a neighbor… Amusing myself at the tool bench in the basement, I whacked my finger with a hammer, the pain was terrible, but there seemed no point in crying because there was no one home to give sympathy.

I walked around the house sucking my throbbing finger, finally arriving at the stairway. The telephone! Quickly, I ran for the footstool in the parlor and dragged it to the landing. Climbing up, I unhooked the receiver in the parlor and held it to my ear. Information, please” I said into the mouthpiece just above my head.  A click or two and a small clear voice spoke into my ear “Information.”  “I hurt my finger…” I wailed into the phone, the tears came readily enough now that I had an audience.   “Isn’t your mother home?” came the question  “No body’s home but me,” I blubbered.  “Are you bleeding?” the voice asked.   “No,”  I replied. “I hit my finger with the hammer and it hurts.”  Can you open the icebox?” she asked.   I said I could.   Then chip off a little bit of ice and hold it to your finger,” said the voice..  After that, I called “Information Please” for everything.. I asked her for help with my geography, and she told me where
Philadelphia was. She helped me with my math. She told me my pet chipmunk that I had caught in the park just the day before, would eat fruit and nuts. Then, there was the time Petey, our pet canary, died. I called,   Information Please,” and told her the sad story. She listened, and then said things grown-ups say to soothe a child. But I was not consoled. I asked her, “Why is it that birds should sing so beautifully and bring joy to all families, only to end up as a heap of feathers on the bottom of a cage?”   She must have sensed my deep concern, for she said quietly, ”
Wayne , always remember that there are other worlds to sing in.”   Somehow I felt better.                                      
Another day I was on the telephone, “Information Please.”   Information,” said in the now familiar voice. “How do I spell fix?”  I asked.  All this took place in a small town in the Pacific Northwest . When I was nine years old, we moved across the country to Boston . I missed my friend very much. “Information Please” belonged in that old wooden box back home and I somehow never thought of trying the shiny new phone that sat on the table in the hall. As I grew into my teens, the memories of those childhood conversations never really left me..                                                            Often, in moments of doubt and perplexity I would recall the serene sense of security I had then. I appreciated now how patient, understanding, and kind she was to have spent her time on a little boy. A few years later, on my way west to college, my plane put down in Seattle . I had about a half-hour or so between planes. I spent 15 minutes or so on the phone with my sister, who lived there now. Then without thinking what I was doing, I dialed my hometown operator and said, “Information Please.” Miraculously, I heard the small, clear voice I knew so well.   “Information.”  I hadn’t planned this, but I heard myself saying,   “Could you please tell me how to spell fix?”  There was a long pause. Then came the soft spoken answer, “I guess your finger must have healed by now…”   I laughed, “So it’s really you,” I said. “I wonder if you have any idea how much you meant to me during that time?”   I wonder,” she said, “if you know how much your call meant to me.   I never had any children and I used to look forward to your calls.”    I told her how often I had thought of her over the years and I asked if I could call her again when I came back to visit my sister.   “Please do”, she said. “Just ask for Sally.”

Three months later I was back in  Seattle .  A different voice answered,   “Information. ‘  I asked for Sally.   “Are you a friend?” she said.   “Yes, a very old friend,” I answered.   “I’m sorry to have to tell you this,”She said. “Sally had been working part time the last few years because she was sick. She died five weeks ago.”   Before I could hang up, she said, ” Wait a minute, did you say your name was
Wayne ?” “   Yes.” I answered.  Well, Sally left a message for you.   She wrote it down in case you called.     Let me read it to you…”   The note said,    
“Tell him there are other worlds to sing in. ‘  He’ll know what I mean..”   I thanked her and hung up. I knew what Sally meant.   Never underestimate the impression you may make on others..  

Life is a journey… NOT a guided tour.

Thanks buddies, have a great day!!

A really good day!!

Today was such a fun day for me, I took my gelding Mick and we went to Lake Texoma for a trail ride.  We met my daughter and some other friends and rode for about 4 hours.  The weather was wonderful and even if the trails were a little muddy, mostly everything was great.  I didn’t realize how MUCH I missed my rides.  I quit barrel racing because of my bad knee, and when I did I lost a really big portion of my social life.   It’s hard to find women of my age that ride, or for that matter have the time to ride.  I’m lucky that way, being sort of retired,(you know my husband is retired, but I still have all my housewife things to do) I have more time that a lot of women who are still working.  Riding here on the place by myself is just not as much fun.  I did a lot of that when I raced, had to keep Mick in shape to run.  I really enjoy just moseying along and not have to go if the weather is bad or something else comes up that I need to do I don’t feel like I have to choose—just go another day.  Rachel has found an association that does competitive trail riding–not the go as hard as you can for 6-8 hours kind.  But one that does short rides with easy trail obstacles that sounds like a lot of fun.  We are going to check it out.  I do need to get back to riding.  I can’t remember when I felt so relaxed and mellow.  Also another good reason to get on with the weight loss.          I hope you all had a great week end to.  Happy Trails.

DONUTS IN THE KITCHEN!!!!!!

Can you believe it?  Donuts in the kitchen and I have eaten only one?  Yep that’s right, ONE.  I’ve read that book Debra clued me in on and taken to heart some of the ideas that were in there.  THE MOST IMPORTANT one for me was ask yourself if you’re really hungry before you eat. And paying attention to what you are doing, if you want to eat, then eat, don’t do something else along with that.  This has been hard–not reading, or walking around with a sandwich, or watching TV.    I have only been doing this for four days now, so it’s really new, but asking that question of myself, then really paying attention to the answer,and paying attention to EATING,  has had a big effect on me.  I know that it isn’t that easy, but this one thing has made a real difference in my eating!  Paying attention to what and why I am eating it seems so simple, but after I thought about it, I realized that a lot of the time, I was eating because it was “time” to eat, or I didn’t have anything else to do.  There are some tricks in the book to use to help you along and the CD alone is worth the price—you are to  listen to it everyday for 2 weeks—, but I’ll wear it out, I put it on right as I am going to bed and listen, it relaxes me and helps me sleep so soundly.  I swear I have been feeling better and have more energy in four days.  Now don’t get me wrong—there are some visualization drills that you do that I struggle with.  I’m just not good at “seeing things in my head”.  But I figure that trying is worth something.  I know this is not a quick fix for me, but I’m liking what is going one.  The scale will tell the tale I guess.  We’ll see.   

Showin off Reba……

Reba, Barb, and Becca/ Coleman Centennial Parade

REBA ON PARADE

Hey ya’ll got up this morning a despite it being gloomy, my friend Barb and I took Reba and went to be in the Centennial Parade at Coleman,OK.  A small community about 10 miles from where we live.  They had antique cars, tractors, horses,bicycles, an a couple of floats!  It’s a little spot on the highway, with a couple of churches, a school, a coulpe of convience stores, and a post office.  But , today there was a traffic jam in downtown Coleman!  We had a fun time, it is so funny to watch people—-they’ll spot the car, have a good look–then they’ll look up to check out whose driving such a cool piece of work.  SURPRISE!!!!  Everyone all ways has a big grin when the see me behind the wheel.  Wonder if they wanted a Mustang when they were growing up?                                                                                                                                                     Weather was supposed to cooperate today, but so far not a sign of the sun–I’ve turned on the heaters in the house and am planning on settleing in with some hot tea and watch a little college football.  This cold I have is not doing me any favors by going away fast.   My daughter and her “boy” friend are out riding today,in spite of the weather, she is taking a coulpe of days for herself, going to a friends and hang out with no responsibilities, John will go home and take care of the animals, and Josh is at his Dad’s until Sunday night.  Bless her heart she needs a little down time, this has been a really bad year—I h ope to goodness next year is better.  Hope you all have a great weekend.

Question for you all—-

ok here is the deal, I know some of you have tons of buddies, so when you have some that haven’t been on in months, you think they probably have checked out, to you delete them from your buddylist and move the ones that you keep in touch with up on the list or what.   I don’t know about you all, but I have just a few buddies that I really talk to, everyone on here has been really nice, but after all you can only follow so many.  When I have time I go through and check out the blogs and I always find something good in the ones I read, but my time is limited  so I never get to ALL of them.  What do you guys do?                                    Don’t think I’ve gone away if I’m not here for a few days, I’ve been in the doctors’ office with Josh the last two days, and I swear I caught something while I was there,(you can’t not breathe you know) , I just don’t feel right no real symptoms yet….just not right.  Josh had to check and see if he had asthma(he does got meds).  Then then next day some idiot at school put him in a head lock and hurt his neck, so back to the dr to check that out.  Thanks goodness a chiropractor visit took care of it. I really didn’t care for the attitude at the school, ASD if the kid did it again, (this was his 3rd time to do something like this), just a boys will be boys attitude I don’t care for.  Grabbing some one from behind with a headlock and pulling them off their feet isn’t just horse play in my book.   I guess we should be thankful he doesn’t have a broken neck or some kind of spinal injury or worse.  I don’t know if the kid even realized he could have killed Josh doing what he did.  Anyway, two trips to the doctor in 3 days, with all those bugs floating in the air, just the    place I want be!                                                                                                                                                                        It’s still raining here, we have had tons, and I feel a big pot of stew coming on, so I’ll have to be really strict with myself, no big pan of cornbread to go along with it!  Nothing like a stew for rainy, cold weather, and cornbread just makes it better.  I have found that not having something around to tempt me is the better part of valor as far as I am concerned!   Hope you all are doing good and getting ready for a fun weekend.  If I’m not sick, a friend and I are taking REBA to a parade Saturday, a centennial celebration for a little town up the road, they are having a parade and a antique car show, so I think we’ll go.  Take care and be good. 

Eat to live……

As I read Debra’s blog this morning I thought about that, eating to live, not living to eat!  I think that is the root of my problem, I let food rule my life—well not so much food, as what and how much food.  I’m either worrying about what and how much I ate, or I’m worrying about what if I eat too much of the wrong thing.  I’ve tried the just ignore it way, wound up gaining quite a bit, I’ve tried watching everything I put in my mouth, usually don’t lose much.  The only time I really lost a lot of weight, and managed to keep it off was the time I went on the Nutri-System plan, I lost 50 lb, and I did keep all of that off for 5 years.  But who can afford to stay on that food plan?  Besides even if you can, they won’t let you, they wean you off.  I have never learned how to portion out the right amount I need, having it prepackaged was wonderful, fix it eat all of it and you know you are done.  They have “free” foods you could eat all you wanted, carrots, celery, lettuce, you all know the stuff.  Anyway  I wonder how it would be to measure out you meals, do the prepackaging yourself and freeze them?  Then you could get them out heat the up and eat.  I have a sneaking suspicion that it would come down to being like exercise—-too much trouble.   I think maybe my problem isn’t food—–it’s commitment.  Commitment to doing what I know is the best thing for me to do for myself.  And that goes back to having the right mind set.  I talk and talk, but show no action.  I already know what I need to do—I really don’t need a book or some “famous” person telling me what I already know.  What I need is to find the motivation and guts to make a hard and fast commitment to me, to do what I know is the best thing for me, for my health and happiness.  I wish there was an EASY fix, a pill, or a book that would get it done for me, I know there is not.  I really need to be accountable for my lack of action, words are easy, whether you type them or speak them, I must make a commitment to myself and then hold myself accountable.  I appreciate the support I get here, you all have been or are in the same place I am at, you understand.  I really have to have a good ole fashioned “Come to Jesus” meeting with me, and get a handle on what is is that I really want, what my expectations are and how I am going to get there.   MAKE A PLAN AND STICK TO IT.  That is my new motto.  Being honest with myself and holding me accountable, I think that will work.    

ROLLER COASTER RIDE—-

I  hate roller coasters, always have, even when I was a kid.  I wouldn’t ride them when we went to the fair or to Six Flags!  Here I am stuck on one.  My scales’ battery died, it took me some time to remember to replace it–I was pleasantly surprised to see that I hadn’t gained nearly as much as I feared (only 1 pound!).   I decided to weigh only once a week, not drive myself crazy looking every day.  I lost the pound, was back to where I was, then I lost another pound and was really pleased.  Then despite what I promised myself I stepped on the scale last night, and wham, it read 190, where did those 3 pounds come from!!!  this drives me nuts–I think I ‘m doing good, going in the right direction and then out of no where, weight gain.  I swear I haven’t done anything different–haven’t binged out, haven’t eaten larger portions, changed anything.  This is what makes me want to throw up my hands and say to hell with the whole thing….I know if I do that  I’ll be in trouble fast…but it is so frustrating.  So I made a batch of chocolate chip cookies and had some, I know it was NOT the thing to do, but what the heck–I took most of them to Josh and Tony put a pretty good dent in the ones that were left.  This is the kind of thing that I have a really hard time dealing with, it seems like when I really try to be careful it goes wrong.  I’ve been trying really hard, specially the last few months, to keep a handle on my eating.  I’m an emotional eater, and with all the stuff going on with Josh, staying away from comfort food is a BIG struggle.  I thought I was doing pretty good.  It makes me so mad!!!   Ok I’ve had my fit and stomped my feet, thanks for letting me get it out.  Here is my plan for getting on with this journey.  Eat breakfast, drink water, try to have our largest meal at lunch, drink water, have a lite supper, have a snack while watching TV or reading and get more exercise.  I hope that following this plan will get that scale going in the right direction.   I want to get off this roller coaster. 

Ponderings on how I got here….

Do you all ever think about how you got here–to this place we’re at?   I was a  very active child–running everywhere, I’ve been told I never walked anywhere I could run.  I took dancing lessons, twirling lessons, I ran track, I marched in the band.  After I married, I was busy, I walked, then rode nearly every day.  Up until I was 45 or so I wasn’t over weight–well maybe 5 lb more than I should be, but then all of a sudden I found myself at 185 lb.  I went on the NutriSystem plan and I lost 50 lb.  I kept it off for 5 years, but slowly over time I gained it all back and 10 more.  Now I just can’t seem to find the motivation to get moving, I keep saying I want to lose this extra tire I carry around my middle, I know that it is not good for me, my family has a long history of heart and stroke issues.  Lethal I might add, but I still sit and do nothing to help myself.  I know that just watching what I eat will not get it done for me, I have to exercise A LOT for the weight to come off, I know that.  I’m searching for the why,—  why don’t I take charge and get off my butt and move, I find every excuse in the world NOT to do what I know is the good thing for me. 

I WILL GET GOING,  I have too, if not, I’m going to wind up not being able to move at all–I’m 60 and it gets harder every passing year to get rid of the lbs.and with my knees in the shape they are I’ll seize up.    I’ve got all the stuff I need, I just need to quit making excuses for why I can’t do and get going.  True confession time—-I think I’m lazy!!!!  OK quick kick in the butt for me, out of my chair and do something, anything that gets me moving.  I’m taking a page out of Teresa book, baby steps, something that I can manage.  Maybe I’ll make a page in excel that tracks my progress–if I write it  down, what I expect myself to do and track it— maybe that will help me stay on track.

Any other suggestions on how to stay on track? I need all the help I can get.  I really want to lose this weight by my next birthday–July 7—I’m at 189 right now–I think 150 or so would be a good weight for me at my age—30 lbs in 10months–surely I can do that?  That is 3 lbs a month!!!  I need to get serious about this and get it done.  OK I START OVER TODAY—SEPT. 15, 2009!  I even have a couple of extra weeks to work of my first 3lb per month plan. 

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